Monday, February 26, 2018

26 - 2 - '18    Run 1868    300 Coutt's Rd

FASCINATOR's going for a hat trick "Shit-house Run of the 
Year" from home. He began, saying "the run starts from here,
with not too many on-backs or checks". Then ..... something
about Mt Beckworth & the tree, when DONUTS says, "that's
to the top isn't it?" Decision made, & cars took off to the 
start at the base of the Mount.
5 bar flys stayed on for (a) quenching ale, while we listened to
the rusty grind of the windmill, & then proceeded to heat up 
the BBQ plate. Runners & walkers arrived back just on dark.
To start the On-after, Bride MOUNTIE & Groom PUSBUCKET
entered Stage Right with their attendants, to celebrate their
30 years of wedded bliss (Hash page photos). MOUNTIE 
remembered PUSBUCKET coming home pissed & saying,
"we're gonna get married", but she didn't realise that it was
SPARTACUS he wanted to marry.
FOP had a charge for the Hash Re-union organising 
committee SPENCER HOCKING (on his own), & for DUMBER,
MOUNTIE & SHAFTED for doing f*ck all.
                  (They're the meanest .... ).
Welcomes back for Grogmaster CRUTCHLESS & SPARTACUS.
                  ( Hymn, hymn, f*ck hymn).   HEAD HUNTER, why is
it written "hymn" in the songbook?
FASCINATOR got up to screw himself saying that it was a 
fantastic run, he'd used 7 bags of flour, everyone followed
trail, what a great view from beside the big tree, & a 
fascination level of 99.764 - pity no-one agreed !!
                   ( Shitty Trail ..... ).
R.A. MOUNTIE was next to christen "The Bird" - arise
                   GEORGE PELL-I-CAN.
PUSBUCKET charged ROWDY for saying QUICKDICK
looked "cute" in his outfit, while SILIC thought you'd more
likely meet QUICKDICK in a Phuket Bar looking like that.
SPENCE said as 1867 (tonight 1868) was a prime number -
out the front BITCHFACE, with a prime number run.
                     (Her, her, f*ck her ... ) & then,
                     ( ... got a neck like a turkey, Mrs Murphy).
QUICKDICK, DUMBER & The DR's drank together for some
reason (?).
DIMWIT had a drink for earlier singing "Swing Low" & not 
knowing that it was the Hash Prayer, & GLIDER a drink for
leading the Hymn at the weekend.
      BITCHFACE had her virgin go at (Give us an A ...).
DUMBER charged DIMWIT for arriving in the bush & asking,
"Where can I buy diesel here?" - No f*kin' where!, then SILIC
told DIMWIT to get his joke over with - Pick pocket / Peeping 
tom - the pick pocket snatches watches.
FOP charged BITCHFACE for writing Susie in the book, then
the O'Halloran's drank together (incl. PUSBUCKET).
SS confirmed that a good friend needed a ride home & was
picked up by the Cops ... HER VAG.
Some other charges (may include, but not limited to!!),
  ROWDY to SILIC - hasn't been in transmission for years,
  ROWDY to NUTCRACKER for socks being creamed,
  DUMBER to SPARTACUS & PUSBUCKET for their dancing
    together on Sat. Night,
  FOP to FASCINATOR for turning off the wind farm - no lights,
    or power to keep us warm,
  R.A. MOUNTIE for turning on good weather at the week-end,
  BITCHFACE, NUTCRACKER & D&C as Bridesmaids,
  DUMBER in the old Magna, for tailgate-ing PUSBUCKET,
  PUSBUCKET for saying that he had to come home for the
  weekend - to go to the pub & Hash Re-union, but didn't
  mention the wedding anniversary,
  DIMWIT for trying to rifle FASCINATOR's fuel tank,
  GLIDER for being too lazy & staying at the pub between 
  runs at the weekend, &
  PIMP for his piss weak chant as Choir Master. 
We feasted on BBQ snags, hamburgers, bacon, corn, onions 
hash browns, with bread & salad stuff on the table - 
(in the darkFASCINATOR !!).

Next week's run - 1869 - Hare SHAFTED from,
                               219 Coalmine Rd., Lal Lal. 
  

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

19 - 2 - '18     Run 1865     Surface Hill Rd.

                 "The get well HEAD HUNTER night".

TEFLON's run from Argyle Dam, with 13 runners, 10 walkers 
6 bar flys showing up. Actually the announcement of the 7k
run caused the instant decision to become "walker with 
stubby" instead. Parking & travel arrangements were noted, 
eg: THE BILL & PLUCKA actually drove on the 200m of gravel,
NORMAL had his "chauffeur of choice" MASTABAIT, (guess 
that's a GF to you BENT until next time) & the argument in the 
PIMP vehicle along the 16k, over which route was the shortest 
- it's actually 2k longer via the Hway over Sebas/Smythes Rd -
bad luck again REARY & SILIC.
Both the run & walk had been marked - the run in toilet paper.
We met at the very well stocked Furphy & Blonde Drink-stop,
& the chips!
Back at the On After, NUTCRACKER took to her stand-in 
Grog Master role with gusto - I guess the paper cups weren't
her fault !!
FOP welcomed back DIMWIT & MASTABAIT.
Stand-in Screw PLUCKA had negative thoughts about 
screwing TEFLON - "too many on backs & mine shafts" 
she said, the "run longer than usual & the downhill good",
but could only manage a PLUCKA Duck level of 6.
                      (S.H.I.T.T.Y trail ........... ).
Just then SHAFTED noticed the tree root emerging from the
ground, & assured us that PLUCKA wasn't the root in the 
circle.
Stand in, Stand in, Stand in Sergeant ROWDY asked for 
charges as BENT NOSE charged walk (wank) leader NORMAL
& from the run, 'with positive legs' NUTCRACKER.
REAR ENTRY got the George Christenson charge, FOP for
shagging the staff - HER VAG, & DR DEATH the Jordan
de Goey charge .... & as 1 Dr drinks ..... !!
                       (You're stupid ............... ).
Think there was a charge in there for DR DEATH about the 
sniffyc*nts of 1865 - Melbourne Cup Winner "Toryboy".
PEBBLES charged DUMBER for his "cheap" jump starting
of the car, tho' DUMBER hasn't done his accounts yet, but 
PEBBLES came back with, " if the car had been fixed 
properly in the first place ..... "
The 1865 introduction of Arnott's Biscuits in Newcastle
brought the 2 rangas out together - ROWDY
BAD HEAD JOB, & then BENT NOSE had something (?)
about Grandfathers.        (Hymn, hymn, f*ck hymn).
ROWDY had PIMP out to drink from his new shoes, after
it was stained thru' his new socks, & then SHAFFY for his
cross trainers.
FOP charged REAR ENTRY for saying that Bill (Shorten
Curly) f*cked the Republican bitch's daughter, then for 
TEFLON putting the used condom over the root in the 
circle.      (Put it in your hand Mrs. Murphy ....... ).
DONUTS charged TEFLON for having a supper that you
could build at Ikea, FANG had a drink for his knee bandage,
& FOP for his gag about Little Miss Muffett & Saddam - both
had curds in their (whey) way.
SHAFTED just then commented that, "there's something 
about the steam coming off your piss!!", while the 
septagenarians SS, GLIDER & THE BILL took the 
HEAD HUNTER charge.       (She's a Harriette ....... ).
We had SILIC's favourite - Salad Rolls & choice of cold 
meats in individual packs, cheese, lettuce & tomato.
Someone produced a packet of snags for NORMAL to
do justice to on the H3 trailer - even in the dark. Eventually
SHAFFY found the rechargable light & we could all see again.
Bush runs are the best, but, not a bad idea to have a light 
for the On After eh?    Just sayin'.

Next weeks' run - 1866 - Hare FASCINATOR's 3'peat, from
300 Coutts Road, Mount Beckworth.


Monday, February 12, 2018

12 - 2 - '18     Run 1864    South Gardens

PUSBUCKET's cricket run with a roll-up of 35+ (Youse Pricks 
wouldn't stand still to be counted).
18 runners took off toward the lake, & then north as far as the
wetland & Gregory, except for the Short C C's - think 
FASCINATOR & PIMP went via the cape !! On thru' the Prime 
Minister's walk, toward the Drink-stop & On after. 
Noticeable halts were at the labour PM's including Joe Lyons 
et al, but a marker to keep us mobile past the Budgie 
Smuggler - who knew ?
Back at the Drink-stop, the grog was out & teams quickly put
in place for 'the game'. A couple of stand-outs in the field -
SHAFTED's best catch of the day & PLUCKA's back-handed
throw to hit the stumps. Not sure about those with the bat.
20 minutes into the game we saw FASCINATOR jog in, while
SILIC was still scanning the horizon for No1 son PIMP & his
return, & that was 10 mins. later again. ROWDY walked back
into the "rooms", saying he's had his 2 balls - pity we had to
leave SILIC out of that conversation!! Other comments in the
Member's Stand were from NORMAL saying "I was gonna 
have sex last night but I forgot" - (being on his own at the 
time wouldn't have bothered him), then SHAFTED retrieving
an empty chip bag from the bin "just looking for the sand at
the bottom to replace some salt".
Streaker ROWDY did a circuit, & if it hadn't been such a cool
night, he might've lost the dangling middle 'leg' on the 
middle stump!! When one Dr streaks, all Dr's should streak,
but DR DEATH, QUICK DICK & JITTERBUG were missing in
action, although 'CLITTERBUG' did take particular notice
that DR ROWDY was a true ranga!!
Post match & On after, FOP welcomed everyone again to the
annual cricket bash, with welcomes back for IMMACULATE
CONCEPTION, RANDOLPH, PIMP, BP, BENT NOSE
BOOTROOTA, CANDIDA & ROAD RUNNER.
                      (U.G.L.Y. ...... no alibi ...... you're ugly).
FASCINATOR (still puffing) commented best everything,
run & cricket etc., with a Bradman'esq Fascination level
of 9.64  ..........           (S.H.I.T.T.Y. trail ).
Stand-in Sergeant QUICK DICK had ROWDY out first
for his streak.    (Mrs Murphy ... it's got a neck like a turkey).
Next was BP for sniffyc*nt run 1111 - ummm, palindromic
upside down & every which way, digit sum of 4, which is 
the square of 2 .... ad naus - SPENCE ?? then SOS & HYMIE
drank up as the 'downhill men'.   (They're the meanest).
ROWDY charged SILIC & offspring PIMP, saying the silliest
c*nt went looking for the trail, then DR DEATH charged 
NUTCRACKER for her gymnastics on the field, but 
SHAFTED chimed in saying "her vag was not all that it's
cracked up to be".
DR DEATH recognised the incapacitated Umpire 
SPARTACUS for his service, & then MOUNTIE charged the
DR ....... & as one DR drinks.....!
NUMMY had the Kiwi's out together - LOIS LANE & BP
with HYMIE, & for some reason (?) JITTERBUG
IMMACULATE.
PUSBUCKET read out scores - SOS & HYMIE -19, 
DONUTS zero, with SHAFFY & FASCINATOR winning the day.
                  (Oughta be ......... ).
PUSBUCKET & SPARTACUS were last charge as the Officials.
NORMAL was kept busy at the BBQ Trailer - we had snags in
bread, hamburgers & cooked onions in rolls with salad,
followed by the mandatory MOUNTIE, great carrot cake 
......... & beer.
Next week's run - 1865 - Hare TEFLON at Surface Hill Rd,
left off Sebas/Smythes Rd almost to Smythesdale.
On after, same.

Monday, February 5, 2018

5 - 2 - '18        Run 1863       Nuggety Dam

HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK's (sweaty ballsac) run around 
Nuggety. Must have been "very special" for NORMAL to bring
his own car, & along the gravel to boot!! SOS was last of 31 to 
show up, & with navigator LITTLE EVIL - came in sideways in
a flurry of gravel & noise, after a bit of private rally work, 
proving that the aged Toyota can still do a wheely on gravel.
NUMMY was stand-in GM for FOP, & we even had his "poxy
proxy" after a long absence - MRS DICKHEAD (who knew??).
QUICK DICK explained the run, & showed us a handful of the 
healthy orgasmic wholemeal flour that he was to carry on the 
run, when HEAD HUNTER agreed they'd probably need it
'dealing with idiots', when DONUTS asked, "who's dealing
with the idiots?"
Plenty of hills & goat tracks made for a sweaty end at the
Drink-stop, with a welcome ale & chips.
At the On After, NUMMY welcomed GLIDER's daughter 
Phillipa (Pip) & grandson Ryan from Brisvegas, & Lyn.
Also welcomes back to EXIT, MRS D, HYMIE, SOS &
LITTLE EVIL
                    (There's a game called 20 toes ......... )
NUMMYs 1st charge was for MRS D after her long absence, 
& then came the new book. RA MOUNTIE was called on to
bless the old book, that at it's start, showed HOPPY as GM,
CANDIDA's 10th run, & NUM NUM's No 9. That done, 
MOUNTIE stumbled blessing the new book, when her 
'old man' PUSBUCKET stepped in to her rescue, pointing
out it's shortcomings - half the thickness, the foot logo 
upside down etc. Then came the "drink from the new book",
so it was splashed with beer, MOUNTIE licked it clean, then
SILIC's chant .......... (Give us an A ...... ).
Stand-in Screw PEBBLES began, saying "unaccustomed as
I am to screwing in the bush ....." He was happy to screw
HEAD HUNTER, but baulked (only a little bit !!) with 
QUICK DICK. That's when QUICK DICK reminded him that
he'd have to pay the 'regular fee' for HEAD HUNTER.
                     (S.H.I.T.T.Y. trail ........ ).
Sergeant SPENCE charged MOUNTIE for naming her good
mate - BITCHFACE.
                  (She's alright ........ a bit flat chested ..... ).
Lyn, Pip & Ryan, as the newbies, were called out to drink
with elder statesman SS, & Mr 3/4's (of a century) GLIDER 
75 yrs, along with EXIT.
                   (Hashy Birthday f*ck you .......... ).
SOS & HYMIE were shamed for talking during the circle.
                   (No no, bad bad, down down).
Sniffyc*nt runs were DUMBER 1099, GLIDER '707', &
HEAD HUNTER 44, then SHAFTED stepped in to shout
the son LITTLE EVIL a drink, seeing as he lives at 
'707' Doveton.That was NUTCRACKER's chance at a 
1st time call - an 'assisted' .... (Give us an A ..... ), then
old mate D&C had a drink for her 69.
MOUNTIE gave EXIT back her dirty socks, then it was
noticed that ROWDY had changed out of his rainbow jobs 
after the run, so time to drink from same.
DIMWIT & PEBBLES were next for matching shoes.
Lyn had holes at the shoulder blades of her T shirt, & 
PEBBLES thought she had it on back to front, & then a 
charge for HER VAG - "but she's not here", says SOS,
you'll do !!
'Barry' is still lurking after 3 weeks - DUMBER charged 
MRS D & MOUNTIE for their excursion down Barry Lane
in Melbourne.
DONUTS charged SHAFTED for commenting that his
'little horse girl' wasn't satisfying his needs, & then
MOUNTIE charged HYMIE for his leg tattoo, that she only
looks at his face - slurp, slurp !!
                     (Ugly ...... you're so f*ckin' ugly .... ).
SILIC trotted out his sight gag - photo on his phone,
with him saying that the big dick is a family trait, then
REAR ENTRY got DIMWIT to lower the bar even further
on the Dad Jokes - Mexican said to his chooks "O'lay".
That got him 2 ....... (You're stupid's).
HEAD HUNTER's blog photo shows SS with the old book,
& hand over of the new to THE BILL. At the hand over,
PUSBUCKET went on to say how the old book had been so
faithful & now is gonna' be most unappreciated, that the 
new one has  nothing & is so thin, but at least SILIC
REAR ENTRY are now twice their size.
                      (They're the meanest ........... ).
The eats followed - we had snags & hamburgers from 'chef'
NORMAL at the H3 Trailer, bread & rolls, salads & cheese.

Next week's run - 1864 - PUSBUCKET's Cricket at South
Gardens by the POW's.