Tuesday, December 19, 2017

18 - 12 - '17   Run 1856   Athletic Club

The Pub Crawl Christmas Carol bash was on yet again, &
seems like only yesterday that we had the last. Team Goyne
made the numbers swell to 40'ish. All the Christmas attire
was out of the closet, including HEAD HUNTER's "shagging
Rudolph" outfit (that her arse did look big in !!), MOUNTIE's
Christmas Tree, & everything in between. Of course, 
PLUCKA's short little Santa dress would've been improved
without the bike shorts, but then she did ride the cycle.
FOP had welcomes for "Goynes" Eleanor & Grace (& partner 
Sam), & Vaughan joined in en route. Welcomes back for 
TRENCH, MRS DICKHEAD & LIGHT FINGERS.
HEAD HUNTER backed away from the 1st songs, then got
the ..... (Hymn, hymn, f*ck hymn). Christmas Run virgins 
were out - NUTCRACKER, JITTERBUG & CRUTCHLESS,
helped along by DIMWIT & the visitors.
1st Carol - Little Dumber Boy for drinkers DUMB & NUM.
.... "she used her tongue on me, I'm Dumber she's Num"....
       ( ...only weighs a quarter of a pound Mrs Murphy...).
Onward Hashing Soldiers to the Robin Hood & the Carol
Jingle Bells .... "THE BILLy Goat combs down, SILIC's sack
is light, & BAD HAIR DAY holds his balls tight"......
Oh Come All Ye Faithful ..... "DONUTS oh come ye on my 
face again" ...... was helped along by NUTCRACKER after
...... "the cum on her face", & ROWDY, dunno - no idea!!
             ( .... No, no ...... Bad, bad....).
Silver Bells (from no Number page 8 - the one between 7 & 9),
was for Elder Stateman SS,  .... "& the mother's rush home
with wet (k)nickers" .....!! Also called out was Hash Lyricist
DR ROWDY by MRS D, for, in the absence of the Prince of 
Pomposity BENTNOSE, had to make much of 'nickers'
without the 'k'.
SS charged GLIDER, wondering if he was responsible for
the recent murder in his area, then FASCINATOR to 
HEAD HUNTER for her arse looking big in the Rudolph outfit. 
Mooooving Forward to Skin Ski & BOOTLACE's drink-stop, 
DIMWIT comes across a Yr 12 student & can't remember his
name, but we've assured DIMMY, that "said" student is now 
aware of his Hash name. Out the back, we had a welcome
back for BOOTLACES & then QUICKDICK with his Christmas
burqa, was soon found humping HEADHUNTER's big arse!!
Deck The Halls was next Carol for sheep f*cker HALF A BAR
     ....."f*ck the sheep, it makes him jolly" .... & you can have
one as well HEADHUNTER for ramming Rudolph ... Fa,la,la,la.
PEBBLES was out on his own for Jingle Bell Rock,
    ...."PEBBLES' cock swings while PEBBLES' balls ring" .....
          (Put it in your hand Mrs Murphy, it's got hair on 
            it's neck like a turkey).
HALF A BAR & all the "no Christmas attire" gang were next.
The Sergeant called for BENTNOSE to take them away, &
PLUCKA says, "BENT's not here", ........ you'll do PLUCKA.
SILIC was out there - we thought he had no Christmas gear, 
but he did produce his 2nd ball - a red Christmas bauble.
SPENCER HOCKING's Carol was Hark The Herald .......
 ..."piece of ass & fanny mild, lads & lasses paedophiled" ...,
& SILIC had DR ROWDY out at the same time for writing 
Carols in Medicare time, & as 1 Dr drinks .... you too 
DR DEATH ( you park stealer!!).
At this point, REAR ENTRY & SOS were having a little
'Festive Cuddle' over by the fence, so Santa Claus Is 
Coming To Town ...... 
         ...."REAR ENTRY's thrust will ice your cake" ....
Stay there REARY - & he showed us that he still can't 
remember the Richmond song, & then NORMAL had a drink
for getting there via the kebab bar.
On to the George & a Carol for CRUTCHLESS, with DIMWIT's
help ......    Let It Snow, Let It Snow ....  
            ...... "& her crutch, it likes sauce for topping".
   (She's a mean mother fucker, she's a great cock sucker).
NUTCRACKER's 1st Carol - God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman,
    .... "no need for lubricant, Oh slidings of comfort & joy"..... 
 (She' alright, a little flat-chested, but she's alright), then a 2nd
for NUTCRACKER, joined by MOUNTIE, .... White Christmas ....
         ...... "& may all her Nutcracking excite" .......
        ( ....... She's a great cock sucker, she's a Harriette).
Onward to the Miners, where the lunatic soup was having a 
big effect, so some of these won't work, but let's do 
       Rudolph for DR DEATH & JITTERBUG ......
..."JITTERBUG came by & said "I'll sit on your face tonight" ....
...... & as 1 Goyne drinks, alllll Goynes drink.
Christmas Tree MOUNTIE was next Carol with Silent Night ..... 
      .... "Praise the Lord, I came 1st" ......
        (She's the meanest, she sucks the horse's p*nis).
PLUCKA's Oh Holy Night didn't even get past HALF A BAR's
1,2,3 ? count in, but she did get .... (She's a mean mother 
fucker, she's a great cock sucker ....).
Feliz Navidad hardly got past the beginning either, but they
thought that was probably 'cos it was for FASCINATOR .....
        ..... "Poor me, but now Mummy's fanny's glad" .....
DUMB & DUMBER gave CRUTCHLESS a drink for her not 
complaining about a touch on the arse, then NUM NUM 
charged THE BILL for all of his touchings up!!
DIMWIT's Joy To The World went ok ...."the angels sing,
his reptile's functioning" .... then he told his Dad Joke about,
Winnie the Pooh & Alfred the Great having the same middle 
name ..... (& it spits when you jerk it up & down).
SHAFTED came next & Frosty The Snowman, with a full 
chorus to finish with a rip roaring ...... (sing it thru slowly) 
      ..... Dah da dah dut dut da dah da dah daaaaahh!!
The yr 12's Eleanor (?) & PRECIOUS had a drink to celebrate,
      .....(if it wasn't for your mother, you'd be a spot of cum).
Think at that stage, we were On On to the Athletic for more 
beers, & some chicken, chips, salad & bread, with SILIC 
licking all of the plates clean. Of course, FOP adopted his 
usual stance at the end of the night ie: stripped off to the 
mankini with Ewwww ...... a large amount of "side ball" 
happening !!

Next weeks Run - 1857 - Christmas Night at FOP's Place.

DONUTS celebrates "60" on Jan 20 at 609 State Forest Rd.,
from 6pm. BYO drinks. Band "Damaged Goods". No presents
just your presence. RSVP for catering purposes please.







Monday, December 11, 2017

11 - 12 - '17   Run 1855   Bowling Club

Batwoman MOUNTIE's last stand for the pissy long weekend
to celebrate the 60th. 30+ fronted up to help her celebrate & 
that included some Family (virgins). HEAD HUNTER 
rasped up her throat a bit more, with a half baked effort to
muster up some reverance. FOP welcomed the 'virgins' ("put
your hands up virgins" - we'd like to!!), Maree, Clare & 
ORPHAN ANNIE, then thanked PUSBUCKET for setting the 
run, which PUSBUCKET said was "on the happy side of 4k".
11 athletes (& 1 DR Cyclist) headed off to the hills of the 
North, with a sprinkle of the bushland. Very well marked, to
the point of markers large enough on the oval, to be seen
from space. PEBBLES & DUMB & DUMBER left the pack to
go & stand hand in hand, looking at the city from Black Hill. 
The Drink-stop was at the front of the Club. Sister Clare left
early, & the suggestion was "is she leaving to have sex, like
Sister MOUNTIE, who would only leave Hash early for that
reason. 
At the circle, FOP's 1st drinks were for virgins Maree, 
ORHAN ANNIE, Batgirl MOUNTIE & a welcome back for 
JITTERBUG.        (They're alright ....... they're alright).
FASCINATOR was looking forward to screwing MOUNTIE,
thinking that he was probably the only one who hadn't.
PUSBUCKET stood up for the run, but not for the screwing.
The fascination level for the 'Oscar Winning Run', was 
'give it an A'.      (S.h.i.t.t.y Trail .......)
Sniffyc*nt runs were for SPENCER HOCKING's 1122 & 
MOUNTIE's 'anal bleaching', after much use of the 
Domestos bottle.             (Get a life ...........)
Sergeant SPENCE charged FASCINATOR for upstaging
him (SPENCE) with the Arab dress-up, then MOUNTIE was
blind-folded, only to find everyone draped with HYMIE masks
that she grabbed one of to dry hump. She had a drink, & as 1
HYMIE drinks ..... all HYMIE's drink ( .. & the boys went down).
DIMWIT had a drink for having to re-hydrate when he arrived
earlier.           (You're stupid .... you're so f*cking dumb).
New shoes drinkers were NUMMY, & to drink from the high 
heels, MOUNTIE, ...... & you can have another one DIMWIT.
MOUNTIE gave PUSBUCKET a drink for the notion of "sex
after 60" (seconds), then to take a drink for "sex after 70",
were SS, MASTABAIT, SILIC, THE BILL & CHRIS CROS.
MOUNTIE was blind-folded again, while they wheeled in
the 'Birthday Cake'. She was hoping for HYMIE to burst out 
of it, but the 'psuedo' removed the HYMIE mask, to reveal 
the bare-chested PUSBUCKET, standing there in the boxers.
                   (Hashy Birthday f*ck you MOUNTIE). 
                   (....... Oh, the wiggle on her arse).
SILIC had a drink for fronting up as his 'Left Ball' (no longer
here!!), NUMMY for spending all day on the bubbly, 
BAD HEAD JOB for thinking Ricky Gervais was Ricky Gervais
& MOUNTIE for a '69' with HYMIE.
QUICKDICK (Goldberg) was called out for giving (Hitler) 
DUMBER dutch ovens, & as 1 Jew drinks ..... you too 
HALF A BAR (Spielvogel) & BENT NOSE (Isaac).
                   (A soldier I'll be ......... ).
DIMWIT had a dad joke for DR ROWDY - birds go to the Dr for
'tweetment', then REAR ENTRY & DR DEATH'S daughter (?)
were out for sitting down during the Circle.
FOP had a charge for Clare (who'd left) .... you'll do 
ORPHAN ANNIE, & as all O'Hallorans drink together, you too 
Maree & MOUNTIE.
SPENCE was walking round in circles, & had no idea why he 
was still carrying his charge drink, & PUSBUCKET charged
PRECIOUS for saying " Golly MOUNTIE, you look a bit like
Bat-woman".
DUMBER had MOUNTIE & SPENCE out for having the older 
lady colour of 'mauve' on, .... & you too KFC & BENT NOSE.
DR DEATH charged SS for being the Elder of Hash, & after
all this time, still needing his 1st name on his T Shirt in 
capitals, to which they stuck the letter 'P', making it PENIS.
NUMMY presented the 'gift from everyone' to MOUNTIE, that
prompted the 2 of them into a session of a dry hump & roll 
round the floor........ (Hashy Birthday f*ck you MOUNTIE).
Bill of Fare was cold chicken pieces, ham on the bone, 
salads, bread & Birthday Cake, followed by some tuneful (?)
Karaoke.

Next weeks run - 1856 - Christmas Carols at Athletic Club.


  



Monday, December 4, 2017

4 - 12 - '17    Run 1854    Eureka Stockade 

PLUCKA's "Battle of Eureka" run. Early start at 6:00 for the 
Hash 35, to catch the 6:23 to the City. All busy, getting sorted 
with the new T shirts going everywhere. Signing the book,
FASCINATOR said, "Oh good, the year of my birth", (not 1854),
but his Run No 63.
FOP welcomed all, mentioning the year of "The Rebels" 
uprising (what do we want, when do we want it?). New runners
were Americans Ken & Mrs Ken (or should that be Barbie?).
FOP's question, "where do we catch the bus?" ..... umm, at the
bus-stop. The bus off-loaded us all at the main stop in Little 
Bridge, & we all strolled up to the Bakery Hill Flag. MOUNTIE
got busy sorting Runners as soldiers & Walkers as miners,
to be on either side of the flag. BENT NOSE took to the stone 
podium, & did his chant, "These feet, these hands ......" 
A steady walk back to the Stockade, stopping at the Eureka
markers for SPENCER HOCKING to go thru' his spiel, direct
from the Eureka Walk pamphlet. We hadn't realised that 
Carboni's Pizza joint had been going for so long !!!
The Drink-stop (& damper) was at the Stockade Monument, 
with a fair sort of a wait for the runners. Soon, the "battle" was 
on between "soldiers & miners", with plenty of red & white
flour bombs dispersed. 
At the circle, FOP congratulated PLUCKA for a job well done,
a welcome for Just Ken & Just Marg, & welcomes back for
BAR LICKER, HALF A BAR & GLIDER ..... "You're stupid,
you're stupid, you're so f*cking dumb".
Screw FASCINATOR was almost doing cart-wheels at the 
thought of screwing PLUCKA, & thought that there was more
planning put into the night, than for the original Eureka. 
It was a great (hysterical) historical run, with a fascination 
level of 9.69 .... "S.h.i.t.t.y T.r.a.i.l. .. I'd rather drink warm beer".
Sergeant SPENCE had PLUCKA out the front for the No 1854,
as 1+8=9, 5+4=9, so 18 is the digit sum of 9, which is the 
square root of 81, which is the digit sum of 9 !! ..... "Do your
tits hang low, do they wobble to & fro ....." PLUCKA then had
a 'back to back' charge for the run passing by the Vegan cafe.
QUICKDICK was called out for a charge but was absent, so 
you'll do DIMWIT, then BEERFUCK, as a miner, explained that
a 'lead' is a creek full of gold ......... "Why was he born so
          beautiful ...... he's no f*cking use at all".
THE BILL took the soldier's charge, joined by Paul the Pom.
The Rebellion was all about the monarchists & republicans
in that order, so out you come HALF A BAR & MOUNTIE.
On the topic of miners' taxes, BENT NOSE called out SPENCE,
DONUTS, HALF A BAR & NUTCRACKER as our prime suspect
non tax payers, & Ken represented Donald Trump. ..........
         "They're the meanest, they suck the horse's penis".
HALF A BAR stayed out there, as the "wealthy land owner" 
against the miners ...... Hymn, hymn, f*ck hymn.
FASCINATOR said that "Australia did it all in 1854, the 
Americans took till 1860" - out you come Ken & Marg ..........
         "No, no, no, bad, bad, bad ......"
A distraction right here, as FASCINATOR points out the 6 
'couch surfers' walking along Eureka St .... carrying a couch!
BEERFUCK had a charge for the girls of PMT Hash, to make
sure of their "Fannuary" donations ....... "What a wank" ......
GLIDER produced yet another newspaper clip - Stock & Land
no less, for the prize winning HALF A BAR  ............. at last,
          .......... "give us an A".
DUMB & DUMBER charged GLIDER for being the next one in
line to ask "where's the run this week?", then SPENCE to 
HALF A BAR for some bad behaviour, & BAR LICKER for 
being complicit in same.
NORMAL had a charge for HALF A BAR (& ROWDY) - "F*ck off
you're no good at anything. I gave you the job of checking the 
green light on the BBQ, & you handed it on to ROWDY & he's
f*ckin' colour blind!!"
MOUNTIE had some charge for Jess (?), SPENCE to 
'Just Marg' for asking " was Carboni the 1st one to bring in
Pizza?", then FASCINATOR to D&C for the question, "where's
my fanny?"
THE BILL charged HALF A BAR being the only one of us, who
could afford the piece of original flag going up for auction.
FASCINATOR gave ROWDY the redhead charge, & as one 
redhead drinks ... out the front - RANDOLPH, Ali, DIMWIT 
(covered in red flour) & BAD HEAD JOB (just a red 'head' - 
nothing else!!). 
R.A. MOUNTIE had 2 Christenings ... Ken ... arise FAR-KEN,
& Marg ... arise CAROL.
Tasty BBQ of snags & hamburgers, salads & cheese, bread & 
rolls was 'bill of fare' that followed.

Next weeks run - 1855 - Hare the '6' figures Birthday Girl
MOUNTIE, from North Ballarat Bowling Club, with 
Hollywood dress-up.