25 - 9 -'17 Run 1843 Miner's Tavern
MOUNTIE's run from the "Office", that saw 19 starters, & 2
late comer's in the rear entry - REAR ENTRY & SILIC.
MOUNTIE said the run was like her - short & interesting, &
she had to re-set it, being so wet - still like her! Running
along, she was heard to say "how big do you want it?", to
which ROWDY wiggled his little finger - she was talking
about the arrow marks.
MOUNTIE's "shorter" sister Terry (Claire in fact), delivered
the drink-stop to the Civic Hall Car Park.
SS was talking about his latest fish catch, & had his hands
about a foot apart, when PLUCKA chimed in " that's big,
does it get hard too?"
HEAD HUNTER hadn't heard of some of the large "Zarsoff"
family - to name a few, there was Bluey, Rooty, Shaggy,
Workty & Hash cousin Runny.
PEBBLES in the past, began dating the lesser attractive
one of 2 sisters, & in a "romantic" moment, called her by
the name of the attractive one - reminds one of the
"Rodeo Sex Position".
We retired back to the Office, to find the 3 bar flys ogling
over some of the partly dressed WAG's.
FOP had welcomes back for the 'almost well' SPARTACUS,
DIMWIT & RANDOLPH - enter HEAD HUNTER with "They're
the meanest ..... !!
REAR ENTRY had a drink for all sporting achievements
over the weekend, but was challenged with the words of
the Tiger's theme song - he did know the loud "Yellow
& Black" bit tho'. Could the problem have been BENT
NOSE starting off in the wrong key? ...... "You're stupid,
...... so feckin' dumb".
Stand in Screw DAZED & CONFUSED said she always
wanted to screw MOUNTIE, but the Rainbow Run is not
until next week. She said the run was well marked, but
too many on backs, hills & dark alleys, then gave it an
8.1, but of course, MOUNTIE thought it should've been
heaps more ....... S.H.I.T.T.Y. Trail .........!!
Another Stand-in, Sergeant BENT NOSE had charges
for MOUNTIE, PLUCKA (wag'ish), SILIC ( preggo Wag
look), & BAD HEAD JOB ( bow tie T Shirt).
DIMWIT took a drink for his idea of the "special sign" on
the run - he'd heard that 2 arrows together were pointing
to an on back, then PEBBLES gave him a 2nd for collecting
phone numbers of the girls in the morning running group.
After last week's run, a friend of Grand Daughter Isabelle
said that Pop was nearly as smart as Isabelle - yeah,
nearly as smart as a 12 year old - BENT NOSE, have a
drink on ROWDY.
MOUNTIE charged SOS for thinking that HYMIE had
been saying he (SOS) is 'Fit' - all the time it was 'Fat', then
Katrina was out the front for having her stitches on the
outside - that's where she shows her 'pink bits' as well.
HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK are celebrating their 1st
Wedding Anniversary ( & it's still going - no wonder they
left early!!).
MOUNTIE charged HYMIE for having the leg "ink work"
to make him like the footballers, while ROWDY was
sporting the "pull-ons".
NUMMY had a drink for her Crash Strip guernsey, SILIC
for no footy gear at all, then the current ranga RANDOLPH,
& ex-ranga BHD (shiny & grey!!) .... & as all rangas .....!
There were a couple more charges in there somewhere
but, dunno........ got a bit busy!
Next week's run, ROWDY's Rainbow Run, 5 Ways or
Nuggety Dam & BBQ.
REAR ENTRY thought that, by the look of the phone photos,
"there was a few still left in Cheryl". MOUNTIE thought that,
"as she herself, would be getting nil tonight, would Cheryl
be getting nil at Nhill" for her extra curricular appointment -
she is a great kisser !!
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
18 - 9 - '17 Run 1842 110 Pleasant St.
BENT NOSE's run from home, where actual Trail Master
NUM NUM was stand-in Choir Master. 17 starters made the
cut, with no need to wait for the usually late SHAFFY &
HALF A BAR.
FOP welcomed new runner Isabelle (BP & BENT's Grand
Daughter & viola student), who instantly became 1 of the 8
walkers. BENT assured us all that it WAS a great run, but
thanks to the precipitation .........!!
There was no horn, not even a stand-in, ( just "lowering
the bar" a bit further), but NUMMY's question was "who's
got a horn then?"
JITTERBUG came prepared to be a bar-fly, but there were
no other takers, or even a bar - had it been lowered?
The walkers went west to Russell St, then joined together
with the athletes, at the Crowny drink-stop - the take away
opposite the Bunch of Grapes. No bin for the empties, so
back in, together with the unopened ones.
Back in the garage, the nibbles, dips & lolly jar ( lovely
bullets) circulated prior to the down downs.
FOP welcomed Isabelle to the BENT NOSE Extravaganza,
& her lemonade down down was 'under instruction' from BP.
Stand-in Screw ROWDY mentioned that the "usually anally
retentive, excessive compulsive" Hare had made no
provision for the empty's, & the run was 'as tight as fish's
arse' - same as the Hare? NUMMY & ROWDY followed the
(non existent?) trail, but not the Hare.
Score? Not silver, gold, 7, 8, 9, Elephant stamp - no, it got
a Fish stamp, then followed the S.H.I.T.T.Y trail.
Stand-in Sergeant, the Hare Himself, declared a miracle
on the run - BP found an errant $5 note, that got a heap
of claimants.
DONUTS charged JITTERBUG for suggesting that it was
him in the photo of the Cum Shop, then GLIDER presented
JITTERBUG with her cake box (from last week) & a drink,
to everyone's chorus of "Feckin' get over last week GLIDER"
DUMB & DUMBER charged FOP for only looking at the
cleavage in the photo of the Ladies Hash christening - he
didn't realize that it was his sister-in-law.
NUMMY charged GLIDER for beginning his 2nd 40 years
of Hash, then birthday boy FOP for being alive for 44 years.
SOS called out BENT as a 'shed drinker', having a heap of
grog labels on hand, then MOUNTIE charged
DAZED & CONFUSED for splashing in a shicky on the run -
another stand-in, DONUTS drank up for her, in place of
the absent NORMAL.
During the conversation of the Harriettes stradling the
grave, PLUCKA had a drink for her question "Where is
HEAVY, is he in Ballarat?"
HALF A BAR wasn't even here, but at this point, Isabelle
was escorted inside, to escape any more 'language'.
FOP charged D&C for saying " PEBBLES didn't give me
a horn tonight!", then MOUNTIE to SOS for getting his
balls misaligned on the run - indeed, "did one drop?"
As numbers were down, ROWDY then gave everyone who
hadn't been charged, a drink.
About a dozen then ventured to the Pizza Shop for food,
& the obligatory "fain wain".
Next week's run, MOUNTIE's Brownlow Night at Miner's
or the Athletic - TBA.
Next week's, next week run, ROWDY's Rainbow Run at
5 Ways / Nuggety Dam - TBA.
BENT NOSE's run from home, where actual Trail Master
NUM NUM was stand-in Choir Master. 17 starters made the
cut, with no need to wait for the usually late SHAFFY &
HALF A BAR.
FOP welcomed new runner Isabelle (BP & BENT's Grand
Daughter & viola student), who instantly became 1 of the 8
walkers. BENT assured us all that it WAS a great run, but
thanks to the precipitation .........!!
There was no horn, not even a stand-in, ( just "lowering
the bar" a bit further), but NUMMY's question was "who's
got a horn then?"
JITTERBUG came prepared to be a bar-fly, but there were
no other takers, or even a bar - had it been lowered?
The walkers went west to Russell St, then joined together
with the athletes, at the Crowny drink-stop - the take away
opposite the Bunch of Grapes. No bin for the empties, so
back in, together with the unopened ones.
Back in the garage, the nibbles, dips & lolly jar ( lovely
bullets) circulated prior to the down downs.
FOP welcomed Isabelle to the BENT NOSE Extravaganza,
& her lemonade down down was 'under instruction' from BP.
Stand-in Screw ROWDY mentioned that the "usually anally
retentive, excessive compulsive" Hare had made no
provision for the empty's, & the run was 'as tight as fish's
arse' - same as the Hare? NUMMY & ROWDY followed the
(non existent?) trail, but not the Hare.
Score? Not silver, gold, 7, 8, 9, Elephant stamp - no, it got
a Fish stamp, then followed the S.H.I.T.T.Y trail.
Stand-in Sergeant, the Hare Himself, declared a miracle
on the run - BP found an errant $5 note, that got a heap
of claimants.
DONUTS charged JITTERBUG for suggesting that it was
him in the photo of the Cum Shop, then GLIDER presented
JITTERBUG with her cake box (from last week) & a drink,
to everyone's chorus of "Feckin' get over last week GLIDER"
DUMB & DUMBER charged FOP for only looking at the
cleavage in the photo of the Ladies Hash christening - he
didn't realize that it was his sister-in-law.
NUMMY charged GLIDER for beginning his 2nd 40 years
of Hash, then birthday boy FOP for being alive for 44 years.
SOS called out BENT as a 'shed drinker', having a heap of
grog labels on hand, then MOUNTIE charged
DAZED & CONFUSED for splashing in a shicky on the run -
another stand-in, DONUTS drank up for her, in place of
the absent NORMAL.
During the conversation of the Harriettes stradling the
grave, PLUCKA had a drink for her question "Where is
HEAVY, is he in Ballarat?"
HALF A BAR wasn't even here, but at this point, Isabelle
was escorted inside, to escape any more 'language'.
FOP charged D&C for saying " PEBBLES didn't give me
a horn tonight!", then MOUNTIE to SOS for getting his
balls misaligned on the run - indeed, "did one drop?"
As numbers were down, ROWDY then gave everyone who
hadn't been charged, a drink.
About a dozen then ventured to the Pizza Shop for food,
& the obligatory "fain wain".
Next week's run, MOUNTIE's Brownlow Night at Miner's
or the Athletic - TBA.
Next week's, next week run, ROWDY's Rainbow Run at
5 Ways / Nuggety Dam - TBA.
Monday, September 11, 2017
11 - 9 -'17 Run 1841 Bunch of Grapes
Love affair is back on - I'm voting Yes!! 6:30pm & I get
the call - "they" want to pick me up.
GLIDER's '40th Year of Hash' run, & as FOP posted, "let's
celebrate the start of his next 40 years". 36 fronted up, even
Family - GLIDER's cousin BANDUNG BARRY from D & E.
FOP mentioned the lots of faces we haven't seen in a while,
then welcomed virgin runner Amy (from USA), who was
made to cum by JITTERBUG.
GLIDER said the run was about 5.5k, & proceeded to hand
out 4 envelopes to the 'responsible' ones, to get started.
PLUCKA's envelope was No1, & directed us to the
'gates of hell' at St Pat's College - Father who?? TEFLON
was quickly out of the blocks, & maintained a good lead
with the aid of his 'glider wings'. After 'the gates', it was
to the boat shed at the lake, on to the Western Pub, then
to the well stocked Drink-stop at FOP's place, helped
along from the Pub by BANDUNG's intermittent call
of 'slack arses'.
Back at the circle we almost ran out of grog in an instant,
welcoming Amy & BANDUNG, then welcomes back for
PAULINE, MOUNTIE, PUSBUCKET, BP, BENT NOSE,
EXIT, CRUTCHLESS, BAR LICKER, SOS, HYMEN &
FASCINATOR. PUSBUCKET missed the call, eventually
walking in with a handful of beers, to the tune of 'Him,
him, feck him'.
Screw FASCINATOR (no stand-in there FOP), said the
start of the run was 'interesting', with the 4 envelope
start. CHRIS CROS & BHD were late to 'the gates',
( I hung back thinking that Father might have been
lurking!!). Anyway, FASCINATOR said it turned out
to be a fantastic run, with a Fascination Level of 45 ........
....... S.H.I.T.T.Y trail etc.
Here's your stand-in .... Sergeant BENT NOSE's 1st
was the smurf charge for SOS & HYMIE, but of course
they're not old enough to remember. HYMIE was straight
back with a charge (?) for BENT that brought out the
'Your stupid .... so fecking dumb' song.
BENT then charged EXIT & BANDUNG for their part in
setting the run, & SILIC for saying that he would actually
be 'going for a walk'.
FOP called out REAR ENTRY for the Richmond win, then
BANDUNG charged SOS for his ridiculous hairstyle (that
BHD is gonna' get next time!!).
EXIT was charged for 'bending over & shoe tying' right at
the moment SS strolled by - totally oblivious of the 'chance
he'd missed'.
FOP charged JITTERBUG for driving off last week with the
book in hand, then BENT to Amy for all the things she
claimed she knew about OZ, but not the 'Drop Bears'.
TEFLON took a charge for having a 'Yankee' (Amy) in
place, seeing as we have just gotten' rid of the other
one, GILF for a while.
SHAFFY charged BAR LICKER for having a 'spotted'
top on, & standing back not wanting to be 'spotted', then
Grog Master CRUTCHLESS was made to drink a 'full' glass,
seeing as she'd only been giving us 'halves'.
BAR LICKER gave HALF A BAR, REAR ENTRY, SILIC
& SHAFTED the horse charge, then was charged herself,
for admitting that the shearer had been 'in & out' at least
20 times while they were away.
Then ROWDY had a charge (?) for FOP, & GLIDER to
JITTERBUG for the Cake Knife (?) or some-et, & a few
charged for GLIDER dress-ups - BP, Katrina & D&C.......!
The Bar & Kitchen were obviously overwhelmed by the
huge Monday night roll-up - much waiting by many!!!
It's a pity we didn't have a candle to top off the 'romantic
crustacean-less dinner table' for PLUCKA & THE BILL.
Next week's run - Hare BENT NOSE, 110 Pleasant St. Sth.
Love affair is back on - I'm voting Yes!! 6:30pm & I get
the call - "they" want to pick me up.
GLIDER's '40th Year of Hash' run, & as FOP posted, "let's
celebrate the start of his next 40 years". 36 fronted up, even
Family - GLIDER's cousin BANDUNG BARRY from D & E.
FOP mentioned the lots of faces we haven't seen in a while,
then welcomed virgin runner Amy (from USA), who was
made to cum by JITTERBUG.
GLIDER said the run was about 5.5k, & proceeded to hand
out 4 envelopes to the 'responsible' ones, to get started.
PLUCKA's envelope was No1, & directed us to the
'gates of hell' at St Pat's College - Father who?? TEFLON
was quickly out of the blocks, & maintained a good lead
with the aid of his 'glider wings'. After 'the gates', it was
to the boat shed at the lake, on to the Western Pub, then
to the well stocked Drink-stop at FOP's place, helped
along from the Pub by BANDUNG's intermittent call
of 'slack arses'.
Back at the circle we almost ran out of grog in an instant,
welcoming Amy & BANDUNG, then welcomes back for
PAULINE, MOUNTIE, PUSBUCKET, BP, BENT NOSE,
EXIT, CRUTCHLESS, BAR LICKER, SOS, HYMEN &
FASCINATOR. PUSBUCKET missed the call, eventually
walking in with a handful of beers, to the tune of 'Him,
him, feck him'.
Screw FASCINATOR (no stand-in there FOP), said the
start of the run was 'interesting', with the 4 envelope
start. CHRIS CROS & BHD were late to 'the gates',
( I hung back thinking that Father might have been
lurking!!). Anyway, FASCINATOR said it turned out
to be a fantastic run, with a Fascination Level of 45 ........
....... S.H.I.T.T.Y trail etc.
Here's your stand-in .... Sergeant BENT NOSE's 1st
was the smurf charge for SOS & HYMIE, but of course
they're not old enough to remember. HYMIE was straight
back with a charge (?) for BENT that brought out the
'Your stupid .... so fecking dumb' song.
BENT then charged EXIT & BANDUNG for their part in
setting the run, & SILIC for saying that he would actually
be 'going for a walk'.
FOP called out REAR ENTRY for the Richmond win, then
BANDUNG charged SOS for his ridiculous hairstyle (that
BHD is gonna' get next time!!).
EXIT was charged for 'bending over & shoe tying' right at
the moment SS strolled by - totally oblivious of the 'chance
he'd missed'.
FOP charged JITTERBUG for driving off last week with the
book in hand, then BENT to Amy for all the things she
claimed she knew about OZ, but not the 'Drop Bears'.
TEFLON took a charge for having a 'Yankee' (Amy) in
place, seeing as we have just gotten' rid of the other
one, GILF for a while.
SHAFFY charged BAR LICKER for having a 'spotted'
top on, & standing back not wanting to be 'spotted', then
Grog Master CRUTCHLESS was made to drink a 'full' glass,
seeing as she'd only been giving us 'halves'.
BAR LICKER gave HALF A BAR, REAR ENTRY, SILIC
& SHAFTED the horse charge, then was charged herself,
for admitting that the shearer had been 'in & out' at least
20 times while they were away.
Then ROWDY had a charge (?) for FOP, & GLIDER to
JITTERBUG for the Cake Knife (?) or some-et, & a few
charged for GLIDER dress-ups - BP, Katrina & D&C.......!
The Bar & Kitchen were obviously overwhelmed by the
huge Monday night roll-up - much waiting by many!!!
It's a pity we didn't have a candle to top off the 'romantic
crustacean-less dinner table' for PLUCKA & THE BILL.
Next week's run - Hare BENT NOSE, 110 Pleasant St. Sth.
Monday, September 4, 2017
4 - 9 -'17 Run 1840 103 Cuthbert's Rd
The recently retired NUM NUM "stepped up to stand-in" for
the "Lower the Bar, stand-in, stand-in Hash", for a very
chilly run/walk round the streets of Alfredton.
FOP thanked NUMMY for taking the place of the ailing
SPARTACUS (but is he really only love-sick for his beloved
PUSBUCKET?), then welcomed back from OS travels,
HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK.
NUMMY told us the run was close to 5k's, with a couple
of On-backs, & 'pretty flat'. 16 starters tonight (7 walkers)
& the 'late' HALF A BAR made the 17 total.
SHAFTED was 1st back to the drink-stop, claiming he'd
shown everyone a clean pair of heels.
FOP gave NUMMY the 'stand-in Hare' drink, then TEFLON
for run No 96 (opposite of 69), welcomes back to
HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK, then DUMB & DUMBER for
the 'old man' scaling the ladder to fire up the party lights.
Stand-in Screw PEBBLES gave the run a 'Silver Star'
for being short & sharp, with 'no hills'.
Stand-in Sergeant SHAFTED's 1st charge was for PEBBLES
when he came to a T intersection, saying, " we'll turn the
corner here".... to the tune of "You're stupid, you're stupid".
HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK visited Hash in Oslo, & as
they are from down-under these days, had to stand on their
heads for down downs. HEAD HUNTER was quick to give
us a demo, with legs in the air, but then the thought was,
"do we have to pour it in now from the bottom end?"
SHAFFY called out GLIDER, THE BILL & SS as the
septagenarians of Ballarat Hash, with 120 yrs of Hash
between them, but no charge, then NUM charged DUMB
for the gear he turned himself out in tonight.
SHAFTED then wanted DUMBER to explain why the new
area was called 'Lucarse', & THE BILL came in to explain
about the 'Lucas Girls', & being the place where he'd met
the bride.
D & C took a charge for the 'fasting' Katrina, & why didn't
anyone want to take her home from Hash last week?
DUMBER charged PEBBLES for his touchy / feely text
about the nice swans & lovely fluffy little cygnets around
the lake, then FOP had a cryptic charge for all the Hash
Ladies, not having any idea about carrying round
'heavy / unused bags' ...... boom boom!!
NUMMY congratulated GLIDER for his 40 years of
Hashing, & that 'irreverant' HEAD HUNTER immediately
reached for the song sheet, to chant the "Him, him .....
...... feck him", then DUMBER charged D & C for the
spelling of Shitty Trail ... (or whatever!!).
FOP had a charge for SHAFTED, (with the bread roll
pulled down over the top of his stubby) .........
said "it reminds me of the brothers at Catholic
Primary saying, put your mouth around this".
The circle disbanded with another Dad Gag ..... What's
a dog with wings called? ......... Linda McCartney.
Next weeks run - GLIDER's from Bunch of Grapes.
Thanks to stand-in Hare NUMMY, for the stand-in venue,
& the great stand-in food. Pasta, curry, rice,
quiche, rolls & a 1 foot high creamed sponge.
The recently retired NUM NUM "stepped up to stand-in" for
the "Lower the Bar, stand-in, stand-in Hash", for a very
chilly run/walk round the streets of Alfredton.
FOP thanked NUMMY for taking the place of the ailing
SPARTACUS (but is he really only love-sick for his beloved
PUSBUCKET?), then welcomed back from OS travels,
HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK.
NUMMY told us the run was close to 5k's, with a couple
of On-backs, & 'pretty flat'. 16 starters tonight (7 walkers)
& the 'late' HALF A BAR made the 17 total.
SHAFTED was 1st back to the drink-stop, claiming he'd
shown everyone a clean pair of heels.
FOP gave NUMMY the 'stand-in Hare' drink, then TEFLON
for run No 96 (opposite of 69), welcomes back to
HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK, then DUMB & DUMBER for
the 'old man' scaling the ladder to fire up the party lights.
Stand-in Screw PEBBLES gave the run a 'Silver Star'
for being short & sharp, with 'no hills'.
Stand-in Sergeant SHAFTED's 1st charge was for PEBBLES
when he came to a T intersection, saying, " we'll turn the
corner here".... to the tune of "You're stupid, you're stupid".
HEAD HUNTER & QUICK DICK visited Hash in Oslo, & as
they are from down-under these days, had to stand on their
heads for down downs. HEAD HUNTER was quick to give
us a demo, with legs in the air, but then the thought was,
"do we have to pour it in now from the bottom end?"
SHAFFY called out GLIDER, THE BILL & SS as the
septagenarians of Ballarat Hash, with 120 yrs of Hash
between them, but no charge, then NUM charged DUMB
for the gear he turned himself out in tonight.
SHAFTED then wanted DUMBER to explain why the new
area was called 'Lucarse', & THE BILL came in to explain
about the 'Lucas Girls', & being the place where he'd met
the bride.
D & C took a charge for the 'fasting' Katrina, & why didn't
anyone want to take her home from Hash last week?
DUMBER charged PEBBLES for his touchy / feely text
about the nice swans & lovely fluffy little cygnets around
the lake, then FOP had a cryptic charge for all the Hash
Ladies, not having any idea about carrying round
'heavy / unused bags' ...... boom boom!!
NUMMY congratulated GLIDER for his 40 years of
Hashing, & that 'irreverant' HEAD HUNTER immediately
reached for the song sheet, to chant the "Him, him .....
...... feck him", then DUMBER charged D & C for the
spelling of Shitty Trail ... (or whatever!!).
FOP had a charge for SHAFTED, (with the bread roll
pulled down over the top of his stubby) .........
said "it reminds me of the brothers at Catholic
Primary saying, put your mouth around this".
The circle disbanded with another Dad Gag ..... What's
a dog with wings called? ......... Linda McCartney.
Next weeks run - GLIDER's from Bunch of Grapes.
Thanks to stand-in Hare NUMMY, for the stand-in venue,
& the great stand-in food. Pasta, curry, rice,
quiche, rolls & a 1 foot high creamed sponge.
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