Monday, February 20, 2017

20 - 2 -'17             Run 1810           Athletic Club Bar

TEFLON's Pre Lube Nash Hash Run. SPENCER HOCKING assumed the
stand-in GM Position (complete with coat), seeing as NUMMY let the bar
crash to the ground again, (this time to put Family first !!). SPENCE
welcomed back Ballarat Hashers along with the Nash Hash Committee.
TEFLON briefed on the run ahead, & complimented PUSBUCKET on
coming back for the run, after sussing out the Nash Hash Bike Trail.
He said MASTURBAIT is in charge of the walkers "Put your hand up
MASTURBAITER" & straight away 8 hands went up !! About 20 runners
headed off into the fabulous East, soon to find the Eureka Flag at the
roundabout & the "these feet" chant. We met up with 20 odd (odd??) 
walkers at the well stocked drink-stop by the Eastern Oval.
At the On-After, welcomes back for FOP, HER VAGESTY, FLUID 
MOVEMENT, SOS, LITTLE EVIL, DONUTS & PRECIOUS. Some of the
visitors included WEE WEE, GOANNA?, ADELAIDE et al .......
Nash Hash Committee all had a drink, including Ballarat Reps 
DR DEATHMOUNTIE, DUMB & DUMBER, SHAFTED & others.
Big charge for ROWDY with 1100 runs.
Recent registrations for the Red Dress Run were SOS & EVIL.
All Ballarat Hash had a drink to which no-one could real off their names!!
SS screwed TEFLON for the run & a good walk that included the Southern
Cross chant & a visit to M.A.D.E.
Sergeant ROWDY charged STUBBY for his finally gaining Title to 
the Brewery, & SPENCER HOCKING for all of his Nash Hash work.
Sniffycants of 1810? - Napoleon married 19 yr old Marie Louise,
Archduchess of Austria.
DR DEATH & MOUNTIE caused a stir last week for hiding the money tin,
& DUMBER for the snake in the car episode.
FUCKED IF I KNOW had a rebound drink for his rant over the 'Odds &
Evens' numbers in Ballarat streets & FLUID MOVEMENT complained
about Ballarat's cold weather - now that she's living in Canberra !! 
A drink also for those not yet charged (what ??), DAZED & CONFUSED,
SOS, FANG, THE BILL & MOUNTIE.

Have a good Nash Hash 'youse pricks'.

Next week's run - Post Nash Hash - Xavier Golf.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

6 - 2 -'17             Run 1808            South Gardens

PUSBUCKET's run & cricket match. The 'athletes' took off towards the 
Lake, as 10 bar flys were left to quench thirsts, & watch as the 'late'
SHAFTED arrived, complete with Hash BBQ Trailer, & ride-on mower -
did he think the Council was remiss with the lawn cut, or had 
Brian Blood thrown a spanner in the works?
Back at the On After, we all lined up Guard of Honour style, with our
'poppers', to honour MOUNTIE's 1000th. NUMMY then welcomed back
PIMP, FANG & ROWDY.
SS screwed PUSBUCKET & quickly made him realize that the East 
isn't as good as the West after all. The trail was well marked, even 
paused at the statues of Bodgy 'Hawke' & Liar 'Juliar', & a good
Drinkstop, although wearing the R.A. hat, the weather hadn't been
particularly well ordered.
Charges, post cricket match, were for DR DEATH, who should be
renamed SUDDEN DEATH for his stumpings, ROWDY's fully decked
out in creams & HALF A BAR going to ground after his big trip up.
The sad passing of PENNY FARTHING's husband Pat Hope was
also recognized.
Sergeant ROWDY's charges were for SHAFTED, as HEAVY had a 
free ride to Melbourne, & again for HALF A BAR going arse over head.
'1808' and SPENCER HOCKING & PIMP drank up for the 'Rum Rebellion',
(only successful armed takeover of the Government). 
Waitangi Day saw the Kiwi's LOIS LANE & BP celebrating, NUMMY 
for the women footballers playing like men & BENT NOSE for the 4
Essendon players getting their cars stolen ( guess the crims thought
that being Essendon cars, there'd be plenty of drugs around!).
REAR ENTRY won $500, so now he's probably only $1000 down.
R.A. PUSBUCKET got rid of the rain, so now it's looking like good
weather for Nash Hash - FANG a pathetic charge. DR DEATH looked
Regal in his Bowler Hat & REAR ENTRY got out of PIMP's Essendon
sponsored car, but saw no 'Greene' signs at all. LOIS LANE celebrated
her 38th Anniversary & had seen a 'Cockatoo !!' (woohoo).
PIMP had a 4 page tell all article in a mag & REAR ENTRY for Bernadi
leaving the Liberal Party. PIMP had a 4th drink as he'd mentioned
(as a very poor HashMan !!), that 3 was enough, SILIC for his 
judgement at the cricket, & MASTABAIT for wanting to carve up the field.
DR DEATH & HALF A BAR won the cricket, but HALF A BAR was on
the podium without even scoring, & PEBBLES was Man of the Match.
So as not to stray from tradition, Security arrived at the end to check
on our behaviour, & we all bought the cans from behind our backs
as he shook hands & joked with 'Old Mate' DR ROWDY.

Next week's run - Pebbles, from home. 

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

30 - 1 -'17              Run 1807            Morrison's

HALF A BAR's run from home. At first, a short delay waiting for the 
(full to capacity & more) DUMBER bus to arrive (what's on the bus !!).
1807 (where are you ROWDY ??), oh well, Poet Henry Wordsworth 
Longfellow born. 
NUMMY kicked off with welcomes' back to Janey (minus crutches),
WAIT A WHILE, & Steve (PEBBLES' mate).
Runner's & walker's headed off (maybe it's clockwise this year!), 
quickly to find stuff all trail, but we all eventually wound up at the 
Cemetery Drink-stop  & traditional "Swing Low & On On" to 
HALF A BRA - May 2011. We put Janey at ease after her jaw dropped -
she had a bit of trouble deciphering some of the "Cummin' 4, 2, Carry
Me Home" movements. 
Back at the circle, NUMMY toasted Janey, WAIT A WHILE, BAR LICKER
BP & BENT NOSE for welcomes' back, Birthday Boys MASTABAIT & 
GLIDER, & Wedding Anniversary to BAR LICKER
SS screwed HALF A BAR for something about a sticky wicket (?), &
can't blame the weather for a washout - there was just no trail - but
at least a good Drink-stop at the Dead Centre, & to celebrate the life
of HALF A BRA - 2011, & the good support of BAR LICKER.
DUMBER & DUMBER - he's the man, Coach Captain, Hash Cash, 
Keeper of the Book & Grog Master.
Stand in Sergeant SPENCER HOCKING charged JITTERBUG for no 
reason at all, D&C, SHAFTED & Steve for their advertising of 
Nash Hash, & TEFLON, MRS DICKHEAD, NUM NUM, PUSBUCKET
HALF A BAR, PEBBLES et al as Ambassadors.
HEAD HUNTER QUICK DICK had a drink for not going to Nash Hash,
JITTERBUG for being the most recent to register & FASCINATOR 
charged EXIT 'cos she couldn't 'come'.
HALF A BAR & DR DEATH for their most un-sartorial "bad look" at
Hash, & D&C made it to 50 Runs.
HALF A BAR's "sticky deck" meant the 5 second rule blew out to
about 5 months (good thing we could make the BBQ red hot !!), 
NORMAL was "off the grog" since the Drink-stop & HEAD HUNTER
charged DR DEATH for his side act - "grunting" on the exercise bike.
PUSBUCKET drank up for his lack of attention to pastoral duties - dry 
pastures due to the lack of rain, & FASCINATOR charged Janey for 
some speech impediment (?).
R.A. PUSBUCKET had an epiphany, summoned the demons for Janey
to "cast away the crutches" - Just a smidgen etc .... then arise 
"CRUTCHLESS", & immediately FASCINATOR charged CRUTCH...
for not locking the front door at home at some stage.
Question ....... Did anyone notice REAR ENTRY's absence ??

Here Endeth ........

Next Week's Run .. PUSBUCKET's Cricket Run from South Gardens,
next to the POW Wall.




Wednesday, January 18, 2017

23 - 1 -'17           Run 1805           Waubra

FASCINATOR's run on the grassy fields at Waubra. 
NUMMY welcomed Hash visitors WAIT A WHILE, & URI, & the
injured Janey (on crutches), with welcomes back to GLIDER
EXIT JITTERBUG.
About 22 Athletes took to the grass in full sun, while 9 Bar Flys
& Janey quenched thirsts in the shade of the On After tree, till we 
all met in the barn out back, for the drink-stop, with some runners
either lost or taking their time to arrive. Back at the On After,
SS screwed FASCINATOR for his local "animal run" thru' the 
paddocks, the good weather/venue & well stocked drink-stop (the
phantoms hadn't even drunk it all !!). JITTERBUG thought it 
was a c**t of a run, & TEFLON complained that THE BILL had
all the heifers.
Stand in Sergeant SHAFTED produced the newly removed bag
of testicles, that someone had said they looked like pebbles,
so PEBBLES had a drink to celebrate that they weren't his, but
SILIC could certainly use one & get rid of his rubber implant, &
MRS DICKHEAD charged MOUNTIE & PUSBUCKET for training
as Ball Breakers. Janey drank up for falling off the ladder while
looking for her Wii & "was that only crutch she could get"? 
JITTERBUG did a calf on the run, & FASCINATOR for always
"doing his calves". DR DEATH bought up the sniffycunts of
1805 (where were you ROWDY?) James Squire planting the 
1st Aussie crop of hops.
HALF A BAR was making too much noise (who knew?) for the
sleeping night shift nurse in the house. MOUNTIE charged EXIT
for having a 'lip' either side of the wire on the electric fence.
HEAD HUNTER didn't worry about gaiters - hers are for the 
snow in Oslo. MRS D charged SS for the 'topography' term,
but with HEAD HUNTER, PLUCKA & NUMMY out in front,
should it be 'bottomography' or maybe 'top-off-ography?'
R.A. PUSBUCKET rose to the pulpit to initiate the previously
un-initiated DR DEATH, ( move on people - there's nothing new 
here !!) .... just a smidgen etc etc .... arise "DR DEATH".
SHAFFY charged DR DEATH for his 8 years at Uni, & NUMMY 
for her 2 &1/2 yr 'Gap Year'. JITTERBUG had a drink for wearing
sandals on the run, & for having to pick grass seeds out of 
her pants. REAR ENTRY & SILIC celebrated REARY's 
appointment of a new Managing Director / Tech Expert
in SILIC, & URI had no idea what was happening tonight,
but couldn't get the smile off his face !!
DR DEATH charged DUMBER for trotting out the old "your
car's not going" trick.
That's enough !!
Next week's run - SILIC - short run, then barefoot bowling
at the B'rat North Bowling Club.



Wednesday, January 11, 2017

9 - 1 - '17          Run 1805         Miner's Tavern 

REAR ENTRY's Run.

Dunno !!    Blog Bastard a 'No Show' - talkin' Dutch for a couple 
of days with the Adelaide In Laws.

Did hear that there was a large shortage of beer for the Hashers tho'.

Next Week's Run - FASCINATOR, Home at Waubra ?

Monday, January 2, 2017

2 - 1 - '17          Run 1804          Sorrento Drive

About 21 attendees for LOIS LANE's run from home. The Choirmaster
sounded the horn for the last note of the Jazz Convention & to start the
New Year of "Raising the Bar", as GM NUM welcomed BAG OF DICKS.
12 super athletes began the run, to be caught up to by the late SHAFFY,
(Tom Jones - Not Unusual !!) who drove the 1st KM. 
2 windswept drink-stops later & we were back at the On After - 
F off NORMAL - PAULINE's in charge of the BBQ.
NUMMY welcomed BAG OF DICKS with a down down, & as all dicks
drink together - enter QUICK DICK, MRS DICKHEAD & HALF A BAR.
DUMB & DUMBER was a real dick, for advertising his $540 horse win
that wasn't. 
Screw SS said that LOIS would've been "throbbing" all week waiting
for his screw - the walk was good, nice & flat, the 1st drink-stop was 
punch, the 2nd well stocked with nice cold beer.
Sergeant ROWDY's sniffycunts of 1804 was Australia being named by
Joseph Banks & Matthew Flinders, & the 1st Brewery at Parramatta.
SHAFTED was down downed for sniffycunts of 595 - not hash runs,
but recent placings of his horse(s), 5th, 9th & 5th.
DUMBER made it to 1050 runs, TEFLON ran last week in Wagga with
8 other hashers, & HALF A BAR could only make it to the On After.
THE BILL drank from his new runners, BAG OF DICKS celebrated
SOS & TIDY TWAT's engagement, DUMBER's was a rebound, as
NUMMY had done a mini audit of the book, to find LOIS had had the 
worst attendance on record, with only 2 to front up, & BAD HEAD JOB
was at the "Jizz" Convention all week.
Re the Burrumbeet Cup, TEFLON tripped up on a single rock, & 
PLUCKA had drinks for her arse presentation & BUBBA's horse win.
DUMBER mistook SPENCER HOCKING for LOIS LANE as they 
rode their bikes toward the drink-stop.
HALF A BAR charged LOIS & PAULINE for living in a different
house every time they have a run, & SPARTACUS was almost morose
for missing his love, PUSBUCKET.
ROWDY charged the "pious prince of pomposity" BENT NOSE,
as being a "prescriptivist" - layman's terms (a Pedantic F**king C**t).

Next Week's Run - REAR ENTRY from his office, Miner's Tavern.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

26 - 12 -'16       Run 1820       Committee Run

The walk you have when no-one's there to run. The Bar "dropped to 
the ground" with a resounding "twang" with no GM NUMMY, but 
only 1 of the Committee - Hash Cash DUMBER as the proxy 
(or was that poxy ??) to run the show. We could only manage a 
four'm, not a quorum, & were over-run 10:1 by the visiting Jazz
Conventioners (eers) at REAR ENTRY's office - the Miner's Tavern. 
PLUCKA had it right with her quip " at least the best looking ones
made it !!"
The 4 lonely Hashers looking for a life - DUMB & DUMBER, FLUID
MOVEMENT, PLUCKA & BAD HEAD JOB headed off on the 3/4 hour
walk, where the first stop was an on back/security check & to put
out the bins at the sheltered workshop.
With no drink-stop on the walk, we were soon back at the 'on after'
with no charges or down downs, but we did have one on the 
Committee (thanks DUMB), & at least we were able to talk about
everyone & anyone who wasn't there. 
Special mention to BOOTROOTA after his surgery, & for a speedy 
recovery.
We went our separate ways around 9pm, while BHD shon up the 
Convention Badge to head off for a week of serious jazz listening.

Happy New Year to all.

Next week's run - LOIS LANE's.