Wednesday, January 11, 2017

9 - 1 - '17          Run 1805         Miner's Tavern 


Dunno !!    Blog Bastard a 'No Show' - talkin' Dutch for a couple 
of days with the Adelaide In Laws.

Did hear that there was a large shortage of beer for the Hashers tho'.

Next Week's Run - FASCINATOR, Home at Waubra ?

Monday, January 2, 2017

2 - 1 - '17          Run 1804          Sorrento Drive

About 21 attendees for LOIS LANE's run from home. The Choirmaster
sounded the horn for the last note of the Jazz Convention & to start the
New Year of "Raising the Bar", as GM NUM welcomed BAG OF DICKS.
12 super athletes began the run, to be caught up to by the late SHAFFY,
(Tom Jones - Not Unusual !!) who drove the 1st KM. 
2 windswept drink-stops later & we were back at the On After - 
F off NORMAL - PAULINE's in charge of the BBQ.
NUMMY welcomed BAG OF DICKS with a down down, & as all dicks
drink together - enter QUICK DICK, MRS DICKHEAD & HALF A BAR.
DUMB & DUMBER was a real dick, for advertising his $540 horse win
that wasn't. 
Screw SS said that LOIS would've been "throbbing" all week waiting
for his screw - the walk was good, nice & flat, the 1st drink-stop was 
punch, the 2nd well stocked with nice cold beer.
Sergeant ROWDY's sniffycunts of 1804 was Australia being named by
Joseph Banks & Matthew Flinders, & the 1st Brewery at Parramatta.
SHAFTED was down downed for sniffycunts of 595 - not hash runs,
but recent placings of his horse(s), 5th, 9th & 5th.
DUMBER made it to 1050 runs, TEFLON ran last week in Wagga with
8 other hashers, & HALF A BAR could only make it to the On After.
THE BILL drank from his new runners, BAG OF DICKS celebrated
SOS & TIDY TWAT's engagement, DUMBER's was a rebound, as
NUMMY had done a mini audit of the book, to find LOIS had had the 
worst attendance on record, with only 2 to front up, & BAD HEAD JOB
was at the "Jizz" Convention all week.
Re the Burrumbeet Cup, TEFLON tripped up on a single rock, & 
PLUCKA had drinks for her arse presentation & BUBBA's horse win.
rode their bikes toward the drink-stop.
HALF A BAR charged LOIS & PAULINE for living in a different
house every time they have a run, & SPARTACUS was almost morose
for missing his love, PUSBUCKET.
ROWDY charged the "pious prince of pomposity" BENT NOSE,
as being a "prescriptivist" - layman's terms (a Pedantic F**king C**t).

Next Week's Run - REAR ENTRY from his office, Miner's Tavern.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

26 - 12 -'16       Run 1820       Committee Run

The walk you have when no-one's there to run. The Bar "dropped to 
the ground" with a resounding "twang" with no GM NUMMY, but 
only 1 of the Committee - Hash Cash DUMBER as the proxy 
(or was that poxy ??) to run the show. We could only manage a 
four'm, not a quorum, & were over-run 10:1 by the visiting Jazz
Conventioners (eers) at REAR ENTRY's office - the Miner's Tavern. 
PLUCKA had it right with her quip " at least the best looking ones
made it !!"
The 4 lonely Hashers looking for a life - DUMB & DUMBER, FLUID
MOVEMENT, PLUCKA & BAD HEAD JOB headed off on the 3/4 hour
walk, where the first stop was an on back/security check & to put
out the bins at the sheltered workshop.
With no drink-stop on the walk, we were soon back at the 'on after'
with no charges or down downs, but we did have one on the 
Committee (thanks DUMB), & at least we were able to talk about
everyone & anyone who wasn't there. 
Special mention to BOOTROOTA after his surgery, & for a speedy 
We went our separate ways around 9pm, while BHD shon up the 
Convention Badge to head off for a week of serious jazz listening.

Happy New Year to all.

Next week's run - LOIS LANE's.

Monday, December 19, 2016

19 - 12 -'16         Run 1801      Christmas Run

On On from The Sheltered Workshop, with 30 or so starters.
GM NUM welcomed back HYMEN ( & MOUNTIE's wet already).
Welcome to BOOBS & BUNDIE - visitors from Noosa.
A drink for all to start off, & the 1st carol - Little Drummer Boy
for DUMBER & DUMB. HEAD HUNTER had a huge smile - never 
heard such endearing lyrics in a Christmas Carol.
First stop - upstairs at the newly named Sporting Globe Hotel,
where HYMIE copped an abalone clam on his face from MOUNTIE,
and BOOBS & BUNDIE had a drink for planning to stay in the
Aldi Carpark. NORMAL was stand in to take a Carol & drink, 
for the absent PEBBLES' schlong (.... but doesn't everyone say
"NORMAL's a C**t ??).
Next stop the Miner's Tavern & we run into the short cutting B's,
REAR ENTRY's Carol says "he doesn't care which hole he's in".
QUICK DICK had a drink for shagging HEAD HUNTER (in the words
of the Carol) "in the Icelandic way, giving QUICK DICK great delight",
but all dicks drink together - enter HALF A BAR.
Onwards to STUBBY's Athletic Club Bar and PLUCKA's Carol,
"cause PLUCKA DUCK comes tonight" - (we wonder), then
MRS DICKHEAD "made a little squeak, till her moan rose to a peak".
We also raised a glass to the Publican & past GM STUBBY.
At the Robin Hood, SS had a drink & Carol as HYMIE's 
replacement ?? ( dunno - can't remember !!).
On to Irish Murphy's where we sang HALF A BAR's "seed being 
wildly spent", & SHAFTED's (wait for it & sing it thru'),
DA Da DA DUT DUT Da DA Da DA DAAR, & the Sweet Chariot 
Anthem, for our dear departed HEAVY.   On On.
BENT NOSE found a dummy for our very own "spitter" NORMAL,
& NORMAL wasn't even in a red T shirt !!
To the On After, Top Eureka and we sang again for MRS D, for 
"clenching thighs on fingers curled up tight", & for the Balding
BAD HEAD JOB, "his red locks growing sparse, was born on
Guy Hawkes Day".
And so, "it's goodnight from him", & Merry Christmas (Nooo -
NOT f**kin' Holiday !!) & Happy 2017 to all.
On On.

Monday, December 12, 2016

12 - 12 -'16     Run 1800     343 Miller's Rd.

TEFLON's run. MRS DICKHEAD was stand-in Choirmaster & called
the order, then NUM NUM took the floor in the official Grand Master's
coat to celebrate the Ballarat H3 1800th.
9 Super Athletes took to the run, soon to be caught up to by ROWDY,
after he had discovered the Drink Stop. The run was "a little challenging",
presenting many hills for us old farts, but we still managed to have our
first stubby before the 5 walkers appeared at the Crowny DS. Thanks for 
the choice of a shorter walk for the Short Cutting B's TEFLON
THE BILL TEFLON had first drinks at the On After, since they sprinted 
to the line for a dead heat, after tackling the 'long run'.
Welcomes back to LOIS LANE & FANG.
The 'oldest Ballarat H3 T shirt' entrants lined up - SS, LOIS LANE
SS screwed TEFLON for the weather & a great walk out in the bush
for the 5, but "don't know about the run".
         He said that GLIDER was well considering having treatment.
         GOGO's funeral was a fitting celebration of his life, many there 
         & his 3 Daughters spoke very well.
ROWDY proclaimed 1800 - the year of 'Aussie Glory', sending the
first Merino fleeces to England.
TEFLON had a pedantry charge for his 'errant apostrophies' in the
past week, & LOIS LANE brought along her 'historic survival kit
Hash bag', complete with condoms, tampons & a bottle opener.
FANG for looking good on his Vespa step thru', NUMMY for catching
the 18 foot-long snake - putting a box ( not hers!!) over it's head,
GILF for maybe being TEFLON's lucky night.
CRIS CROS wrapped ROWDY up in the tennis net, in case of a 
mossie strike, & MASTABAIT knew everyone in the area by name,
including the dog outside Ponga's gate.
LOIS LANE commiserated NZ Cricket's 3rd loss & the fact that
retiring PM Key doesn't want to know about it.
NUM had a drink for her 'oldest shirt', GILF for the Full Moon
charge, & PEBBLES for his 'biggus dickus'.
An ample supper by NUM & DUMB of Ham on the Bone, salads,
rolls, quiche & cake - very nice !!

Next week - Christmas Run from the Sheltered Workshop & 
On After at Top Eureka.

SS thought one of his most memorable nights at Hash was when
FOGGY wanted to take him to bed.
ARSO made a remark that he (ARSO) wouldn't be much good
in bed 'because you can't push a blancmange through a letterbox'.
JISM got his name for being caught out 'rooting' on the run.

Over & out !!

Monday, December 5, 2016

5 - 12 -'16   Run 1799   441 Doveton St. Nth.

SOS's Run. GM NUM welcomed the ancestors Sue & Simon.
Welcomes back to JITTERBUG - back to Hash after a sabbatical,
the visiting ZIG & SILIC from the touring love-fest honeymoon.
16 super athletes headed off past the rose garden (hey SOS
what's the ladder in the front bedroom for - been swingin' from
the chandelier??) & were caught up to, at the 1st halt by his
lateness SHAFFY. Crowny's flowed at the school Drink-stop,
then back for the On After.
NUMMY kicked off the charges with Sue & Simon (Mum & Dad),
Rhiannon (Partner), JITTERBUG, ZIG, SILIC & SOS.
Screw SS first brought the attention to the shape of SOS' mo,
being nicely tweaked at the edges. The walk was good, & the 
"bar was raised" with over 30 attending, but on the run, why
were so many halts & checks in the middle of a block? 
NORMAL took charge of the bbq utensils, & we all thought,
that with the rising flame we'd need the CFA, but the 
carcinogenic snags & steak arrived first. 
Sergeant ROWDY charged REAR ENTRY for being the would-be
Grogmaster, then a reverence charge in memory of 
GOGO (GOGGO !!) - but he did go & get baled up. SPENCER 
HOCKING for being a Senior Ambassador for the White Ribbon
Foundation, then PEBBLES for his obscene / revealing garb
at the White Ribbon breakfast. MASTABAIT for 'closest to
the pin' with a wrong answer to "1799 - Bass & Flinders
circum-navigated Van Dieman's Land.
NUM NUM received a lovely Christmas Card from Gold Bus, 
& JITTERBUG's green 'map of Tassie' should have been a bit 
lower, to be closer to the real thing. SHAFTED had a drink for 
another winning horse, but according to DR DEATH, the horse 
started at $11.50, & SHAFFY had only backed it at $8.00. 
CHRIS CROS had the appropriate attire, seeing as ZIG was here - 
the old orange ZIG T shirt from years ago. PUSBUCKET had a 
SILIC shirt on, even though it had never seen a drop of sweat. 
PLUCKA had the perves goggle-eyed while we stopped at the 
railway gates. SOS took one for pooch 'Chicken', seeing as she'd 
been round all the bags sniffing at the contents.
Religious Adviser PUSBUCKET ascended the pulpit to recite 
the chant & initiate Rhiannon - arise "TIDY TWAT". She did take
a while to drink from the 'Initiate Cup' - a bit strange thought
SOS, seeing as how she is usually quick to swallow!!
Grog Master SPARTACUS found the pool an ideal spot to wash
the down-down cups, but the residual chlorine did turn
DUMBER's red wine 'white'.
Next Week's Run - Teflon's from somewhere in Invermay,
(map to be supplied). 

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

29 - 11 -'16      Run 1798     14 Platypus Dve.

CRIS CROS is the Hare. MOUNTIE blew the reverance horn & 
GM NUM began with welcomes back to CLEAV-er-AGE & FANG
& welcome to SON OF TEFLON, & HANNA.
Runners vacated via the 'rear entry', walkers out the front & 
1/2 doz. bar flys (incl. Self) stayed on to cart the drink stop,
which was in place shortly before the walkers, & soon after
came runners. CLEAVAGE was waiting for coffee !! ROWDY was
quick to leave the group conversation, when 3 old farts were 
looking for some free consultations. 
On After & first drinks were for CLEAVAGE, FANG, SON OF TEF
& HANNA. With the lack of reverance, NUMMY had a large
meltdown & the limbo bar was well & truly 'raised' (or kicked
off the supports) & came crashing to the ground !!
Charges 'may include but not limited to' ..........
SS charged CRIS CROS for run & walk, & for most arriving 
together at the well catered for Drink Stop. 2 DICKS joined in 
the charge, then it was decided that all "Dicks" drink together - 
enter QUICK DICK & HALF A BAR.     
R.A. PUSBUCKET had a drink for bringing on the good weather 
& for his choice of mis-matched socks, ala DR DEATH.
On Saturday's 'Celebration Mystery Bus', MOUNTIE was slapped
then had a cry, DONUTS & SPENCER HOCKING didn't know 
where they were for tea, & REAR ENTRY deserted the ship at 
10:30 pm, blowing .269 into the bag. REARY had another drink
for his philosphy "a man can only drink so much beer ....!!"
FANG could only manage a walk tonight, as the old fart had
done 5 km earlier this morning. LOIS LANE charged ROWDY
for his 'nasty gash' on the forehead, & MOUNTIE found keys
in her 'nasty gash'.
GLIDER - get well soon after a stint of chemo. 
Next week's run - SOS, 441 Doveton St. Nth.